


Witc) ( of Life

by ShayMcSudonim



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Moxy Fruvous, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-28
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-21 00:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/893734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShayMcSudonim/pseuds/ShayMcSudonim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song Parody of "King of Spain" by Moxy Fruvous: "Witc) ( of Life" by Feferi Peixes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Witc) ( of Life

**Author's Note:**

> To the tune of Moxy Fruvous' song, "King of Spain." 
> 
> Different versions of the song have differing syllable counts. This parody is modeled after a live performance. Specifically, the one uploaded on YouTube by the user, 'Steve Micallef'. If you're listening along, and that version is still up, it's the one I'd recommend. 
> 
> I'm not entirely sure whether AO3 permits songfics and the like. I've definitely seen other people posting parodies, but that means nothing. I'm breaking my 'don't post parodies' rule because I can't figure out how to change the font colors on Tumblr.

Once I was t)(e Witc)( of Life!

we really gonna sing? 

broadway or the highway, dude. 

O)(, my long-suffering friend, Jane Crocker! 

dave, get the turntables. 

on it. 

I'm telling you I was t)(e Witc)( of Life! 

the one true Batterwitch, ladies and gents. 

And now I'm V.P. at Betty Crocker! 

one 

two 

three. 

*

Chorus [Ironically terrible beatboxing by Dirk and Dave Strider]

*

Royalty! Glub, it looked good on me! 

Jamming pale feels wit)( my )(ig)(blood moirail 

Or dragging w)(ales t)(roug)( t)(e sea!  


*

Or playing Sgurb, you know, 

Wit)( t)(e Princes of )(eart and )(ope, 

Glubbing in dreams wit)( t)(e )(orrorterrors, 

Searc)(ing for treasure as a g)(ost. 

*

Once I was t)(e Witc)( of Life! 

[Now I swim safer tides]  


A gigantic fis)(bowl, t)(at was my )(ive! 

[Now I swim safer tides]  


I'm telling you I was t)(e Witc)( of Life! 

[Now I swim safer tides]  


And now I maintain t)(e Cookbook Arc)(ives. 

[Once she was the Witch of Life!]

*

Chorus 

*

I'm alrig)(t!  


I'm part of a )(ybrid sprite!  


My friends all say,  


"Fef, )(oww are you such a genius?”  


“T)(ere's a dream bubble sea!”  


“And cute narw)(als to ride!” 

*

It's laissez faire. 

I just t)(ink it's nice to s)(are!  


Make t)(e )(emospectrum illegal,  


And find all mutant wrigglers a lusus w)(o cares!

*

Once I was t)(e Witc)( of Life!  


[Now I swim safer tides]  


)(ey -Empress, )(ey –Englis)(! Got problems?  


You troll me!  


[Now I swim safer tides]  


I'm telling you I was t)(e Witc)( of Life!  


[Now I swim safer tides]  


And now Jo)(n calls me up to say I'm un)(oly. 38(  


[Once she was the Witch of Life!]

*

Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you:  


Sweet Bro and )(ella Jeff t)(e Band! 

*

Chorus 

*

Now some of you are probably wondering  


'Okay, if t)(is troll was t)(e Witc)( of Life,  


W)(at on Alternia is s)(e doing on –Eart)(?' 

how did it happen fef? 

the cool guy wants to know, fef. 

Very t)(oug)(tful question, cool guy. 

Do you want to know? 

NO. 

Do you want to know? 

HELL NO. 

Do you want to know? 

HELL FUCKING NO. 

S)(ell I tell t)(em, t)(en, guys? 

[Tell us, Fef!]

*

You see late, one nig)(t  


W)(ale my consorts were asleep  


Out of my glass-lit castle  


And onto my lawnring I creep.  


T)(en I plug t)(is finestraited wall  


In so it can sink wit)( its matc)(,  


At w)(ich point my grimdark friend  


W)(o )(as )(ig)(blood eyes  


Arrives and we start a Scratc)(!

*

Witc)( and Seer  


Dead and God Tier  


Switc)(ed our portals: I grew up )(ere.  


Under my own volfis)(ion  


I took a c)(ange of position!

*

So next time you fret in t)(e grocery line  


Remember, armageddon's my lusus,  


AND T)(-E WITC)( OF LIF-E N-EV-ER RUS)(-ES! 38D 

*

Once I was t)(e Witc)( of Life!  


[Now I swim safer tides]  


I was looking for small ways to make t)(e world brig)(ter.  


[Now I swim safer tides]  


I'm telling you I was t)(e Witc)( of Life!  


[Now I swim safer tides]  


And now I jam wit)( t)(e brot)(ers Strider.  


[Once she was the Witch of Life!]


End file.
